


Stupid Cupid

by slashyrogue



Series: Holidays Need Love Too [1]
Category: Basic Instinct (Movies), Hannibal Extended Universe - Fandom, Mænd & høns | Men & Chicken (2015)
Genre: Kisses, M/M, Red String of Fate, Valentine's Day Fluff, holiday au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 10:16:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13679673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slashyrogue/pseuds/slashyrogue
Summary: Adam (Cupid) has a strange fixation on Elias (The Easter Bunny) that goes from teasing to tears.Spinoff of my short Hannigram AU ficlet: Daddy's Little Monster here:http://slashyrogue.tumblr.com/post/154924949940/hannigram-au-daddys-little-monster-the-first





	Stupid Cupid

Adam still remembered when they met. 

His father had taken him with to the annual meeting when he was just a cherub and the loudness of Santa’s workshop dazzled every one of his senses. He’d been taken to the large room and introduced to many but only that one still stuck in his mind eons later. 

The bunny with the strange lip. 

Elias had been taller than him but way more frightened, hiding behind while their fathers spoke. 

“Son, this is Emilio’s little boy. Say hello to Elias.”

Adam had been so young then, arrogant about his smooth baby face, and asked something Elias never seemed to forget. 

“What’s wrong with his mouth?” 

His father scolded him and Adam was made to apologize but the tears from the little boy with the bunny ears never stopped. 

Adam had never been taken to another meeting. 

When he became Cupid the first thing he did was try to apologize but Elias acknowledge him. Decades of bitterness festered in Adam till he did the only thing he could to catch the Easter Bunny’s attention. 

Teasing. 

Over the next few decades he would snatch Elias’s eggs, color his drinks pink, and even other times his hair. The other holiday incarnations thought it was amusing but Elias did not. He did however start to acknowledge Adam. 

Very very loudly. 

He also started to bother him back. 

Adam was impressed by the power of his magic, the dozens of eggs he could make appear at Will and the way he seemed fixated on making Adam’s wings and halo Easter themed. 

Their back and forth lasted almost a quarter century before Adam’s mouth squashed the fun just as before. 

It was a typical meeting that ended with their normal antics. Adam had hidden his egg basket and placed it under Uncle Sam’s hat. The older man had not been too amused to be included though others had chuckled. 

Elias had been furious to find several eggs were broken upon retrieval. 

“THESE ARE VERY IMPORTANT! YOU—“

“They’re eggs,” Adam muttered, “You can make them appear any bloody time you like. There’s no reason to be upset.”

Elias stomped over and poked him in his bare chest. “NO REASON? NO REASON? Well then, I will just...”

He reached out and grabbed Adam’s halo. The surprise and shocked gasps in the room echoed in Adam’s ears. 

“Give that back.”

The halo was a great symbol of his being the incarnation of Cupid. His family had passed it down for generations. 

Elias laughed. “It’s just a halo. You can make another!”

Adam snarled and reached out with his magic. The halo wouldn’t move from Elias’s hand. 

“GIVE IT TO ME YOU UGLY DEFORMED BUNNY!”

Elias’s shock was genuine, as were his tears. Adam’s stomach hurt at the sight of them after so long a time. 

He handed Adam the halo and walked out of the meeting space without a word. 

Several of the others glared at Adam after he left, including Santa and the goddamn Krampus. 

As if Hannibal had any right to be judgmental. Adam knew the lust he had in his heart for Santa’s teenage son. 

He stomped out of the meeting and looked for Elias. The scent of him, chocolate sweetness that Adam had grown somewhat find of, was still in the air. 

They were allowed to stay in Santa’s home for a few hours before and after the meetings to encourage camaraderie. He had time to find the bunny and apologize before then. 

Adam reached out with his magic and felt a tug towards the candy workshop. 

The elves were scarce this time of year as February was mostly for experimental products in anticipation of the Christmas season. Adam only remembered that from Santa blathering on about it every meeting. He’d never cared to go explore the place. 

As he got nearer the workshop he heard voices. Well mostly just the one in particular as Elias got loud when he was upset. 

“I’M VERY HANDSOME! THERE ARE SO MANY WHO WANT ME I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM OFF!” 

Adam paused at the entrance and several elves looked his way. 

Elias must have noticed their attention diverted because he looked at Adam as well. 

“They do not allow nudity here!”

Adam rolled his eyes. 

“Of course they do,” he muttered, “Do you think Santa and Mrs. Claus don’t hit up everywhere in this place for fun?”

Several of the elves looked confused and Adam stomped over to Elias. The bunny turned away and picked up a broken candy bar half hung out of its wrapper.

“You’re allergic to chocolate.”

“I’m an UGLY DEFORMED BUNNY so I might as well die now,” Elias mumbled.

Adam sighed. “You’re not—“

Elias went to take a bite and Adam pulled the bar over to him. He stood up and poked Adam in the chest. 

“YOU DO NOT GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”

Adam snapped his fingers and the candy disappeared. “If you’re being unreasonable then yes I fuc—damn do. Now just sit down and listen.”

Elias sneered at him before he sat down and folded his arms. “What? Are you here to insult me again? Bother me with your childish games?”

Adam took out one of his arrows. 

“I’m sorry, alright? It was a mean spirited thing to say and I didn’t mean it.”

Elias looked away and he heard a sniffle. “I do not accept your apology.”

“Then maybe you can accept a gift. Just one.”

He watched Elias turn and his insides churned. “What?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day this month. My month. Maybe this year I can...find your match.”

Elias frowned. “Match?”

“Your true love. I usually get swamped around this time of year but I can...squeeze you in.”

He watched Elias have no positive response to his idea and felt annoyed. Did he not realize what a great gift this was? 

“You hate me. I do not want you to choose someone horrible. I deserve the very best there is.”

Adam smiled and felt an odd tingle with the arrow in his hands. “I will.”

Elias stood and held out his hand. 

“We will commence a cease fire till Valentine’s Day.”

Adam took his hand and felt a jolt in his heart. 

What was wrong with him? 

He swallowed back his fear and nodded. 

“Yes, I think that’s fair.”

Adam took his hand away and felt a tingle go up his arm. Elias stared at his hand oddly. 

“Do you have any qualifications? That you’d want in your ideal person?”

“They need to be very even tempered, soft spoken, and no one with dark hair or sparkling eyes. And they must be beautiful but not too beautiful that they think they’re so perfect that they can—“

He covered his mouth in surprise and Adam felt an odd surge of lust. Elias must have someone already in mind. 

“You have someone you’re attracted to already?”

Elias shook his head and got up from the chair to bolt. He found the nearest exit and Adam cut him off outside before he could apparate. 

“I can’t bloody do this right if you’re not honest with me!”

“You’re supposed to be able to see my match without my knowing! You do not need my help!”

Adam frowned. “I don’t know why but I can’t see them properly. I think I do need your help.”

Elias blinked back tears. “Do I not have a true love?”

Adam squeezed the arrow in his hand and closed his eyes. He felt that odd warmth again and his heart constricted when he thought of Elias’s match. 

“I don’t know.”

Elias sniffled and Adam opened his eyes to see how he shivered in the North Pole air. He put his hand on him. 

“I could...do it the old fashioned way. Shoot you with the arrow and then follow the string?”

Elias’s teeth chattered. “It’s very cold here. I don’t want to get shot.”

Adam magicked up a pink cloak for him and smiled at how his ears looked. “Better?”

“Yes.”

“Can I use the arrow?”

Elias frowned and looked sad. “What string? You said follow the string.”

“The red string of fate. I’ve never used it before because I usually can find matches very easily. My bloody record is among the top Cupids there ever have been.”

Elias rubbed his arms. “Can we go back inside?”

Adam shook his head. “Not for this. Just give me a moment.”

He pulled out his bow and knocked the arrow. His hands shook as he held it out and imagined the bunny on the other end of Elias’s string. The idea made him just so unhappy he could barely contain his tears. 

Why was this so hard? 

“Will it hurt?

“No,” Adam said, his voice thick, “Not at all.”

He let the arrow fly and it hit Elias’s heart dead center. The string started to form so fast Adam was light headed and watched as it grew only to stop. 

On him. 

Adam’s eyes widened. 

“Do you see it?”

Adam swallowed. “Yes.”

“Where do we—“

Adam walked over to him and stood very close. He stared into his eyes and touched his cheek. 

“I should’ve known.”

“Should’ve known what? You’re being very strange. Also very close.”

He watched Elias’s cheeks start to redden. “You were insistent on no one with dark hair or too beautiful. There’s someone you were thinking of, right?” 

“No, I wasn’t. Quit putting lies in my words. I just—“

Adam kissed him softly and the jolt in his heart came again. Elias tensed and Adam teased his tongue against the cleft of his upper lift. His groan in response made shudder. He reached out to Elias’s cock only to freeze unable to move. They both were suddenly pulled apart and their heads turned towards the door.

Santa stood there with a smile. 

“This is a family friendly place, gentlemen,” Santa said, “Take that kind of thing home. And I expect you both to not be lax in your duties this year. I was hoping to put this off for another century but I guess it’s time. Happy early Valentine’s Day.”

He went inside and they both could move again. Adam looked at Elias whose bright red cheeks made him laugh. 

“Your home or mine?”

Elias reached out to pull him close again. “My burrow is very cold this time of year. I think...yours would be much warmer.”

Adam kissed him again. 

“That sounds good to me.”


End file.
